I found you.

Poems · Letters from Xhale

I found you.

And again and again
I find myself finding you
loving someone else
the way I wanted to be loved—
the way I stood open
and waited.

Oh, how dreadfully is my night,
how faithfully it learns your name.

But I found you happy.
Light rested on you
as if it had chosen correctly this time,
as if joy had finally found
the right address.

Yet I found you
in temporary silos—
places where feelings are stored, not lived,
where my love became surplus,
excess grain you had nothing to say to.

A mute conversation.
My heart speaking in full sentences,
your silence answering everything.

Yet I found you in relief —
the soft exhale of someone no longer responsible for another's hope.
I left your presence the way one leaves a gift unopened.

I found you.

And I find you still—
in the cruel persistence of memory,
in the way love lingers
long after it is no longer wanted.

I found you.