How do I love them?
Let me count the waves.

Well, it was something I said to God,
but I had to figure it out early:
this statement holds something true.
That's why I went to the shore of the sea.

I found myself standing there,
wondering about God—
wondering what God is.

And I said,

"God, I do love You.
But how do I love You?
Show me the waves.
Show me the many waves
that I can know
that You know
that I love You."

And in an instant—
just like that—
the sea began to grow quiet.

That was one way.

The sea became so still
I could have walked across it.
It was like glass.
It never moved.

It simply…
obeyed the request.

A sign, perhaps,
to help me understand
how much I love God.

So I walked away from the sea,
never to return.

How can I petition God
about something I know
I do not know?

Instant doubt came over me, Lord.

I felt so full of rage.

I thought for sure
that I was loving You—
showing You that I love You,
living in Your love, Lord.

But I forgot.

I was faking this kind of love.

Lord, I petitioned You,
and You gave me Your answer.

And now
I must live with it.

But, Lord—

can You live with me?

Can You live with me
not loving You?

Or not knowing
that I…

I love You?

Or perhaps
not knowing how
to love You at all?